Tag Archives: KM Fawcett

Scream And Shout

Posted on February 16, 2012 by | 1 Comment

Pacific Ocean 2010

In Monday’s post, we discussed that the goal of self-defense is not to win, but to not lose. If you haven’t read the post and are wondering what the heck I’m talking about, click here.

In the comments, someone had shared her story of being attacked years ago and being so stunned at the viciousness, she couldn’t fight back. All she could do was scream. She kept screaming as he punched her in the face. She kept screaming as he yelled at her to shut-up. And because she kept screaming, he feared she’d gain attention from the on-coming cars and he ran off. In other words, she did fight back…using her voice.

When we think about self-defense, we tend to think about blocking and striking. But as we discussed in past blogs, self-defense is also about using our brains (common sense is the first step to self-defense) and heeding the warning of the little voice whispering inside us when something doesn’t feel right. Self-defense is also about using our VOICE. Screaming to gain attention from someone who can intervene or call the police is as important as striking our attacker. Remember, he does not want to get caught.

Our voice is so important to self-defense that we even have a name for it.

Kiai (Kee-eye). It’s a spirit shout. And it has a few purposes:

  1. It helps draw attention to our situation.
  2. It can scare our attacker.
  3. It tightens our muscles to prepare us to take a hit.
  4. And it fires us up. (Don’t athlete’s do this before games? “Come on!”  “We got this!”  “Go [insert team name here]!” Of course they do.

You might recognize a kiai as the “hiya” from old karate movies. However, it can be any word or sound that you want to make. Swearing a string of profanities at your attacker counts. Or shouting, “Fire!” or maybe for a child, teaching them to scream, “Stranger, stranger, 911!”

It doesn’t matter what sound you make. Just make some noise. Even if it’s a high pitch girly scream (which I admit I do when someone scares me. Yes they laugh, but I can’t help the sound. I call it my auto-response kiai.)

Like singers train their voices or drill instructors train theirs, martial artist also train their kiai. Usually a new person in the dojo has trouble making any sound at first. Perhaps they feel silly or self-conscious, but after a few weeks they are shouting with enthusiasm and much spirit.

What sound you make isn’t as important as using your voice to fight back.

~KM Fawcett

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A Writer’s Favorite Game and Self-Defense

Posted on February 13, 2012 by | 8 Comments

Today I was in a gym surrounded by big, muscular karate guys. Guys with many years of training under their black belts. And I started to play a writer’s favorite game, What If. What if one of these guys attacked me right here, right now? Could I really, truly defend myself? Could I beat my attacker? Could I win a fight against them?

Then I remembered that traditional Okinawan karate teaches that, “The purpose of karate is not to win, the purpose of karate is to not lose.” In other words, the goal of self-defense is not to fight until I “finish off” my attacker, the goal is to fight until the attacker loses his will to continue.

Statics show that fighting back (even with no training) gives you a 50% chance of survival. This is because your attacker has 2 fears; getting caught and getting hurt.

Therefore, I don’t have to keep fighting until I win. I have to keep fighting until I don’t lose.

Don’t believe me? Then check out this video of a seven-year-old girl who was grabbed by a stranger at a Georgia Wal-Mart.

Did she win? Well, she didn’t knock him out.  Didn’t subdue him.  Probably didn’t even hurt him much.

But did she not lose? You bet she did! And THAT is the goal of self-defense!

No matter how big, strong, or scary your attacker is, keep fighting until you don’t lose!

~KM Fawcett

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I Get Knocked Down…

Posted on January 26, 2012 by | 17 Comments

Daruma doll

Have you ever worked months, maybe years, toward a goal you really, truly wanted? I’m talking blood-sweat-and-tear-shedding, sleep-depriving work for this goal in which the pain never bothered you because your excitement and hope blunted it, especially when success was within reach; so close you could stretch out your fingertips and brush the goal’s smooth, pristine surface. Only to have your heart’s desire tip over, fall off the pedestal and shatter on the tile floor into a million teeny tiny pieces?  Along with your heart.

If you’re a writer who has received a rejection letter, you understand exactly how I feel.

I really believed this manuscript was the one. The manuscript that would bring my first contract, start my career, drop me on the path toward New York Times bestsellerdom, and keynote speaker at RWA’s national conference. (What, your dreams don’t include being a future keynote speaker?) Anyway…the editor had good things to say about my writing, but thought my twist was a little too different. Argh! (Side rant: I’m beginning to think the NY publishers don’t want “a new twist on an old story” they want “slight curvatures”.) Granted she was only the first editor we’ve heard back from on the new project, and my agent and I still love it and wholeheartedly believe in it, but the rejection knocked me down anyway. What can I say? I’m a sensitive girl. So as I was sinking into the quicksand of self-pity and crushed dreams, I thought about the Daruma I gave my husband for Christmas.

A Daruma is a traditional Japanese wishing doll that helps us achieve our dreams. When you get a Daruma, you set a special goal and then color in one of the doll’s eyes signifying the start of your commitment to work toward achieving it. Then you place Daruma where you can see him everyday – either at home or at work. He motivates you to stay focused on your goal. Once your goal has been achieved, you signify your accomplishment by coloring in his other eye.

Daruma’s are made from papier-mâché, are rounded, hollow, and weighted on the bottom so they will return to their original upright position if tilted or knocked on their side (like a Weeble Wobble – remember those?). Because of this unique ability to right itself, Daruma is associated with the Japanese proverb, nana korobi yaoki, which states, “Fall down seven times, get up eight”.  In other words, the proverb and the doll represent persistence and perseverance.  Not only is that a good writing motto, it’s a good life motto.

Daruma reminds us to never, ever give up on our dreams. No matter how many rejections we may receive.

~K.M. Fawcett

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That’s not a knife. THIS is a knife!

Posted on December 15, 2011 by | 11 Comments

Flesheater Knife

Two and a half years after placing the order, the Flesheater – a hand crafted fighting knife – has arrived! Though my husband will argue otherwise, this Flesheater is mine. Yes, knife ownership is a running joke in our family, and even our son tries to get in on the action, but since he didn’t spend a cent on it, we can easily rule him out. Believing that ownership is 9/10 of the law, my husband hid the knife from me, and maintains that since I don’t possess it, it must not be mine. Wrong! The knife is mine and I’ll tell you why…

It’s because I’ve had it in MY possession for the past few years.

Okay, maybe I didn’t physically have the fourteen inch weapon in my hand, but I’ve featured the Flesheater in one of my manuscripts before we ever placed our order with custom knife maker, Jim Hammond. Since the knife plays a key role in my story, I’ve long dreamed about how my Flesheater would look on the book’s cover (not that cover art is up to the author, but I can dream…and seriously who wouldn’t want a knife this awesome on the cover?)  Therefore, I conclude that she who spent hours researching, writing, and dreaming about the Flesheater knife is truly its owner.  Besides, it feels really good in my hand. :)

Now this is a knife!

So why am I’m getting worked up over this knife? Well for one thing, Scott’s sensei, A.J. Advincula (world renown martial artist/ instructor, retired marine Master Sergeant, and knife expert) designed this fighting knife so you know it can’t be improved upon. Although, in my case, the knife won’t be used for fighting as much as for collecting…though I did make sure it was nearby the other day when two vehicles stopped in front of my house, raising my suspicions… Ahem…I digress.

If you’re interested in the history, design, and specs of this knife, visit Jim Hammond’s website. The following is a short excerpt from my manuscript, The Survival Race, in which the hero describes the Flesheater.

“Damn you, Duncan,” Max muttered, and tossed a box aside.

Addy returned the khaki uniform to the shelf. “What’s wrong?”

“The guy collects seven guns but only one with ammunition.”

“One is better than none.”

“Hardly. There are only three bullets in it. He rummaged through another box and then whistled in awe when he unsheathed a Rambo looking knife. “I’ll be damned.  You know what this is?”

She restrained from stating the obvious.

“It’s a Flesheater.” He turned the stainless steal weapon in his hand. “Strictly a fighting knife. Nine inch blade. Short handle with finger grooves for a secure grip. Curved lower edge. Designed to cut through a man and keep better edge contact than a straight knife. This is one serious weapon.”

Addy gulped. The gladiator certainly knew his knives. And apparently how to use them. Good thing they were on the same team…at the moment.

~K.M. Fawcett

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What Does She Want From Her Hero?

Posted on December 12, 2011 by | 10 Comments

Scott and I on Tsuken Island (Okinawa, Japan)

After recently turning in my manuscript, synopsis, and blurb to my agent to pitch, I’ve been brainstorming my next novel and could use your help. The hero of this story is the brother of the last story’s hero, so his personality, goals, and motivation are pretty well defined already.

But…

This is a romance novel and my hero needs a heroine. I’ve been racking my gray matter trying to come up with the kind of woman this hero needs. I figured since he has a strong personality, and thinks a little too highly of himself, he needs a strong woman who isn’t impressed by his macho attitude (he’s not really macho, he just thinks he is…think Howard Wolowitz on the Big Bang Theory, only not as nerdy or creepy).

Back to the heroine.

I want her to be physically strong, confident and teach karate (hey, everyone says write what you know, so I figured why not a karate instructor?) and she comes from a big family. My hero only has one family member so this will be a big adjustment for him especially when confronted with a few protective older brothers. :)   Not that the heroine needs their protection. She’s pretty good at handling things herself. Oh, did I mention she’s the hero’s sensei? Yup, the hero figures he can’t become a vigilante if he doesn’t know how to fight, and so joins her karate dojo. But he soon learns there’s more to being a “superhero” than punching and kicking.

Now for the part I need your help with…

If the heroine is already a strong, confident woman who owns her own business, what can she learn or gain by being with the hero? What is her vulnerability? What is her character arc? How does she grow to be a better person? Why does she find love with this hero and not anyone else?

Perhaps the answer lies in her reasons for her becoming a dedicated martial artist. I just wish I knew what that reason was. Any suggestions?

~K.M. Fawcett

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Having Fun in Okinawa – Okinawa Part 4

Posted on October 24, 2011 by | 2 Comments

Today’s post is a picture potpourri of some experiences we had on our trip to Okinawa. Click here for Okinawa Part 1, Okinawa Part 2, or Okinawa Part 3.

We went to Tsuken Island, which is Sensei Advincula’s wife’s home island. While she visited relatives and friends, and prayed to honor her ancestors, we enjoyed time at the island resort swimming in crystal water and soaking up the sun. We also took some karate pictures in our gis by the coral rocks. A man came over and took some pictures of us, so I took a picture of him taking a picture of us. :)

 

 

One of the unique things for me was getting to drive on the “wrong” side of the street. I’ve never driven anywhere but the USA, so it felt odd to sit on the right side of the car and drive on the left side of the street. My co-pilot (my husband) wore a crash helmet. Apparently, he thinks he’s funny. (I wish I could find the picture.) I did well driving. I only turned on the windshield wipers once. I was informed that if you hit the wipers instead of the directional signal, you should immediately yell out that it was intentional. Since it wasn’t raining, I’m not sure that anyone would have believed me anyway.

Our friend and fellow instructor, Erik, is a police officer. So we made a point to find a police station so he could take a picture with Okinawa police. The officers were so nice, and happy to pose for pictures.

One night four of us visited a bar owned by a friend of another American karate sensei we know. We were the only Americans in the bar, and truly immersed in Okinawan culture. We drank and ate with the local people and made conversation the best we could with the language barrier. The band invited us on stage to play the taiko (drum) and sanshin (3 string banjo). Erik did well, the rest us…not so much, but the people appreciated that we took interest in their culture and tried. Our group also followed along with some Okinawa dancing, and Erik and I sang karaoke.

There’s an Okinawan proverb “Ichariba choodee” which means, “Once we meet and talk, we are brothers and sisters.” I truly felt like part of the family on this trip from the courtesy and friendship of our host family to the propriety of the strangers we met (see Part 1). I’m so grateful to have had the opportunity to travel back to Okinawa with Sensei Advincula, his wife, my husband, and my friends in Isshinryu.

~K.M. Fawcett

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Experiencing Martial Arts – Okinawa Part 3

Posted on October 20, 2011 by | 4 Comments

Lead by the #1 tour guide, Sensei Advincula, our group set off on a walking tour of Agena, Okinawa. The Agena dojo was where Shimabuku Tatsuo (our style’s founder) trained my teacher’s teacher, Sensei Advincula (did I mention he’s the #1 tour guide?). Sensei spoke of how the dojo helped the local economy, as Okinawan and American students bought gi (uniforms), weapons, and makiwara from local businesses. Though the dojo and businesses no longer exist, it was important for us to see and document these old historical locations related to Isshinryu Karate.

Tenchi Dojo Instructors in front of the Isshinryu World Karate Association Headquarters

We walked to the town of Gushikawa to the Isshinryu Karate World Headquarters dojo, where Shimabuku’s first son, Kichiro is now the head of Isshinryu. The dojo was closed so we couldn’t see inside.

In the same town, we were able to locate the property of Shimabuku’s first dojo, where he officially named our style, Isshinryu (one heart way or whole heart way). When Shimabuku’s top student asked him, “Why such a funny name?” Shimabuku replied, “Because all things begin with one.” This is so true for any venture, be it karate, writing, or even a relationship. You have to start somewhere. You must take that first step.

Heather, Sensei and Scott at Shimabuku Tatsuo's Tomb

We drove to the tombs of  Shimabuku Tatsuo, and his second son Shinsho (who had been instrumental in passing on his father’s karate) to pay our respects. On the way back, the group got to see livestock, a dam, and a garbage dump. Twice! Both our navigator and driver (*cough*Scott*cough*) told us that it was intentional, as they wanted us to see ALL of Okinawa. The #1 tour guide and the rest of us didn’t quite buy it.

Shimabuku Shinsho (Ciso)'s Tomb

Okinawa Prefectural Budokan

Also during our trip, we visited the Budokan, a huge martial center, where the Okinawan Karatedo Kobudo World Tournament took place. The first floor of the three story dojo houses a weight room and a karate dojo, kendo is on the second floor, and judo is on the third. There was also a small cultural room but it was closed.

Kendo floor of the Budokan

Our group also had the honor of training at the Ryukonkai dojo under Grand Master Iha Kotaro and Iha Mitsutada Sensei, the 2009 Okinawan Karatedo Kobudo World Champion in bo (6 foot staff). Ryukonkai is a kobudo school, meaning they teach traditional Okinawan weapons. The dojo, located on the second floor, had no air conditioning…oh yeah, and it was August. You bet I was dripping in sweat before I stepped out onto the hardwood floors! We learned some of their kata (forms), which uses a much deeper stance than we were used to. Good leg workout! Iha Kotaro Hanshi’s favorite quote is “You should not love to fight, but not, even for a moment, forget to prepare for fighting” by Miyamoto Musashi, The book of Five Rings.

The Codes of Conduct posted in the Ryukonkai dojo state:

  • Be civil, courteous, disciplined and well behaved.
  • Aim to train your mental and spiritual power as well as your physical power.
  • Endurance is the key to success.
  • Respect your seniors and love your juniors.
  • Regard every member of the dojo as brothers and sisters and treat them as such.
  • Try to master the most efficient skill of self-defense; preparing for the emergency.

Did you notice the first code of conduct? In Okinawa, everything comes back to courtesy.

~K.M. Fawcett

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Courtesy, Kings & Castles, Oh My! – Okinawa Part 2

Posted on October 13, 2011 by | 4 Comments

Because of the courtesy shown to us by the Okinawan people, our trip was dubbed the 2011 Ryukyu Propriety Cultural and Martial Arts Tour. Ryukyu was the old name for Okinawa before the Japanese renamed it (Remember Okinawa is a prefecture of Japan, like New Jersey is a state of the USA).

Tenchi Dojo Instructors at the Gate of Courtesy

Okinawa is known for the gate of courtesy, Shureimon (or Shurei no mon). This gate is at the entrance of Shuri-jo, a castle originally built in the fifteenth century that was the political, economic and cultural center of the Ryukyu kingdom for hundreds of years. Written on the gate’s plaque are four Chinese characters shu, rei, no, and kuni,which means “land of propriety” or “country of good manners and hospitality”.  Unfortunately, Shuri Castle was

Shuri-jo Castle

destroyed in the Battle of Okinawa during World War II. When rebuilding began in 1958 using pre-war photographs and original plans, guess which structure was reconstructed first. Yup, Shureimon – The Gate of Courtesy. That’s how important courtesy/propriety is to the Okinawan people.

While at the castle, we were entertained by some very talented ladies dancing traditional Okinawan dances. These dancers were impressive with their accuracy and fluidity of movement. This trip has given me an appreciation for these women’s skills. Although their movements might appear slow and uncomplicated to an untrained eye, they are in fact difficult in their precision and grace. Trust me, I had the opportunity to learn a piece of the fan dance, Kagiyadefu and…well… let’s just say it wasn’t pretty, graceful, or accurate. We’ll leave it at that. I also like watching the dances to see the hidden karate techniques in them.

While I’ve seen the traditional Okinawan dances before, what struck me on this trip was that Okinawan women have been performing these dances for hundreds of years.  The exact same precise dances!  And it made me sad to realize there are no traditional American dances in the US.

Heather, me, and Lorena in front of the King's throne

Our tour of Shuri-jo continued inside the castle where we saw many artifacts and special rooms, including the throne room and the tearoom.  I was excited to sit on the tatami mat, sip tea and eat delicious cookies that had been prepared for royalty hundred of years ago. Er…the cookies I ate hadn’t been prepared then, you know what I mean.

Ryukyu tea and cookies

I bought some boxes of cookies to take home with me.  Unfortunately, I just opened my last box. I guess that means I need to take another trip to Okinawa to get some more. :)

Click here for Okinawa Part 3 – Experiencing Martial Arts

~ K.M. Fawcett

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So You Think You Know How To Party?

Posted on August 29, 2011 by | 4 Comments

Back to school is a great time for partying with friends. It’s also a great time for a safety reminder. The following tips on How to Party Safely have been posted on this blog in April of 2010. These tips are for anyone at any age, and can’t be repeated enough.

When going out to a party, club or bar, make a plan and stick to it. If for some reason things change during the night, have a back up plan.

PLAN A: There is usually safety in numbers, so go with a group of friends you trust, stay together and leave together. Don’t leave or let your girlfriends leave with a stranger. Be sure you have a designated driver. If you decide to stay out later, leave earlier or realize your designated driver has been drinking, go to PLAN B: call someone you trust to come get you or call a taxi. Always take a charged cell phone with you and money for cab fare.

PLAN A: Don’t share personal information (phone numbers, business cards) with strangers. If you really like the guy and want to talk again, go to PLAN B: Get his number instead.

PLAN A: Stay with friends and make sure they stay with you. Don’t wander off alone even if you need to find a quiet place to make a phone call. Buddy up when going to the restroom. If you get separated from your friends and a stranger starts bothering you, go to PLAN B: find help from someone you trust or an employee at the bar. If you can’t get away or he refuses to stop harassing you, implement PLAN C:

DEFEND YOURSELF!

PLAN A: Know how much you’re going to drink before going out. If you are going through your drinks faster than you anticipated, try PLAN B: Alternate alcoholic drinks with non-alcoholic drinks. No one needs to know your second and fourth vodka and tonics are only tonics. Or that you filled up your beer bottle with water.

PLAN A: Drink only from bottles or cans you have opened or have watched the bartender pour. Don’t accept drinks that are in punch bowls or other open containers. Never accept drinks from strangers or people you don’t absolutely trust with your life. If you didn’t see what went into your glass, assume anything can be in it. Your nonalcoholic drink could be spiked with alcohol. Your alcoholic drink could be laced with drugs. And consider this, even if it isn’t drugged, the guy buying you a drink may think you now owe him something in return.

PLAN B: Get help immediately from someone you trust with your life if…

  • Your drink tastes bitter, is unusually salty, has a strange color, odor or has foam or residue on the surface. Makers of Rohypnol (“roofies”) changed the formula so when dissolved in liquid, the pill produces a blueish-green dye. Clear drinks turn blue, beer turns green and dark drinks turn murky. BE AWARE however, that many date rape drugs are colorless, odorless, tasteless and can dissolve quickly in liquid.
  • You begin to feel usually drunk for the amount of alcohol you’ve consumed
  • You feel dizzy, nauseous, drowsy, “out of it,” or hallucinate
  • Your girlfriend acts in the above manner. (Remember you’ve already made a buddy plan to watch out for each other!)

You or she may have been drugged and may only be alert for a moment longer.

PLAN A: Don’t leave your drink unattended. If you leave to go to the restroom, the dance floor or to make a phone call, then (PLAN B) throw out that drink when you return. You can always buy yourself another one.

Party Smart and Stay Safe!

~KM Fawcett

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An Emotionally Challenging Test

Posted on August 25, 2011 by | 4 Comments

Breaking out of a bear hug.

This year’s Tenchi Dojo Karate Camp was a special one for me. I had the honor of testing my first born for his black belt. Though I have to be honest and tell you it wasn’t an easy task testing my son. As a mother, my natural instinct is to protect my children, not pummel them (…even during those times when they test my patience and drive me so crazy the urge to kick their little butts give them a stern “talking to” runs strong…but I digress…).

Anyway…I never thought the emotional vortex of my own black belt testing could be rivaled. But it was on that weekend. The teacher in me wanted to push my student beyond his limits. The mother in me didn’t want my “little boy” to hurt. At one exhausted point during the four day camp, his body language screamed “Mom, I need to lean on you.” My arms ached to wrap him in a comforting hug. It killed me to walk away. He probably doesn’t even remember that, but it’s a moment I will NEVER forget. In the end, he got his hug (probably more hugs than he ever wanted to get in front of an audience), and his mother couldn’t have been more proud. Congratulations, Gregory, on your well deserved promotion to shodan (1st degree black belt). You are an amazing young man!

Mom congratulating her son. I wonder if he remembers what I whispered to him.

Notice the look on sister's face when she smells his filthy, sweaty gi (uniform)...priceless.

The new shodans with Sensei Fawcett. In case you were confused, Sensei Fawcett is the clean one in the middle. :)

That’s three Fawcetts down and one to go.  It won’t be long before our little girl is ready to test for her black belt. <Gulp> Why do I get the feeling that THAT testing will be my most emotionally challenging one yet?

~ K.M. Fawcett

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